Lives are being changed!

Sometimes its frustrating for me to watch the news or read the headlines on Yahoo! Its sad how often it is filled with stories of pain and death. Its also sad how often injustices and suffering go unreported, because there is so much that we don't see. And I don't mean typical Americans in the little "bubble" of a worldview. I mean everyone. No person can see all the pain or all the suffering or understand how deep the needs and injustices truly are in this world. I mean its overwhelming to think about how many lives will end tonight that I don't know about. And its not about "me" wanting to know about everything, its just about how insignificant I feel up against such darkness and pain. And its about what my life will actually "count" for in the end. Its about me realizing that whatever difference the Lord chooses to make through me is a tiny little spot against the canvas of a dark and scary world.

But my point is this: its actually not about ANY of that. Life isn't about the measuring of how many, or the measuring of my own successful ministry. Life isn't about how big my spot is on the canvas. Life is about people's lives being changed; and not in a spreadsheet with checkboxes kind of way, but in a dark to light, dead to life, defeated to victorious, life transforming kind of way! I'm so thankful that His transformation continues to change my life. And I'm so thankful that He has allowed me to watch as He transforms others lives right in front of my eyes!

Tonight I'm praying that I never get so caught up in the dark and scary world as a whole that I lose sight of God's gracious hand touching the lives of those all around me!

Shadows

Comforted by His Cross and this song tonight.

Life is full of light and shadow
O the joy and O the sorrow
O the sorrow

And yet will He bring
Dark to light
And yet will He bring
Day from night

When shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When darkness falls on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We remember the cost
We rest in the
Shadow of the cross

--David Crowder

Invitation

I got to share today with some guys about Jesus' invitation for our lives. It was exciting to talk with them about the first disciples being invited to walk with Jesus the Rabbi(Teacher). And what a incredible opportunity it was for them to learn from Him and become like Him. It was even more exciting to share with them that today Jesus is inviting us to do the same thing. He is inviting each of us to follow Him as the Teacher. That we would learn from Him and become like Him.

I'm so thankful that He invited me.

Here i Am!

My prayer tonight is "Lord, here i am - send me!"

This year my responsibilities are a little different than they were for the internship last year. My goal this year is to capture the Ray of Light Project here that Childrens Relief has established. We want to be able to promote and share what God is doing here through the project and how others can be involved! I have been fighting with my self centeredness in terms of how i had envisioned my summer compared to what God has called me to do for Him while i am here. I had envisioned walks through the villages with close translators. Working hard to help with Green Door building. I had envisioned...well, basically what i did last year and i had envisioned being able to take each of those things to the next level. However, in front of me is an enormous opportunity to be able to share with others through video what's happening here in Dondo! and so tonight i am, "making a fist and letting go" of whatever i had thought this summer would be! I am saying - Lord here i am, do with me as You want and use me however You want! I am so excited to be a part of what He wants to accomplish this summer! I'm excited to have a kind of special project to call my own. So tonight i'm letting go of all my apprehension. i'm letting go of all the feelings of being overwhelmed. tonight i'm letting go of the fear of failure.

Tonight i'm saying, "Lord, use me!"

Lord of the Rings

I love these movies. I'm excited to watch them sometime soon.

Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam.

Sam: I know… by rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But, in the end, it’s only a passing thing… a shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you; that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folks in those stories had lots of chances to turn back, only they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?

Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.

Internship

I mentioned in my last post that one of the thoughts running through my mind has been, "What can I do in a world full of need?" I think that question has been so invading my thoughts because morning after morning as I look at the news I see stories of devastation and poverty; and each and every time I am reminded that I have seen this very devastation with my own eyes. I have had the humbling privilege of setting foot in one of the poorest countries in our world and seeing first hand the hurting and lost. And on that same soil of Dondo, Mozambique, I have had the uplifting joy of serving together with Christ followers born in this world that is so different from my own.

There is pain, need, suffering, disease, and poverty all over the world.

But there is also love, joy, hope, redemption, and grace all over the world.

I have been given the opportunity to be a part of what God is doing in this, "world so full of need," this summer. The Lord has made it possible for me to travel back to Dondo, Mozambique and to share in the need and suffering, and the love and grace, that He has allowed to fill this village. He has given me an opportunity to serve Him during a two-month internship in Mozambique.

But the reality is that I am in great need if this internship is going to come to fruition. I need to raise $5000 to cover airfare and in country costs and the simple truth is that I'm not even close right now. And I wanted to share this with you in hopes that maybe the Lord would so move in you that you would be interested in hearing more about what I'm going to be involved in. I would absolutely love to share with you on the phone or grab a bite to eat and hopefully allow you to catch a glimpse of what the Lord is doing in my life and in Dondo, Mozambique. And that you would want to join what I am so passionately desiring to be a part of there this summer.

Please, email me at smkane@me.com if you would be interested in talking with me.

You can download my support letter from the link on the right and learn from that as well!

If you would like to donate and join me on this adventure right now - please just click HERE and put my name in the "Team Members and Interns" spot under "Other Ways to Give." Thanks so much for reading and being a part of my journey with Him thus far!

Running thru my Mind

Here are some random thoughts/quotes/questions running through my head lately:

• Humility.
• Integrity.
• Thankfulness.
• I'm not good enough.
• My stuff, isn't my stuff.
• When is the right time?
• Loving others is hard.
• I am my own worst enemy.
• Why am I so blessed while others struggle so much?
• Christ is my true sufficiency.
• I can't control others' attitudes, but I can control my own.
• What can I do in this world full of need?
• Christ is more important than I am.
• I need to be who He created me to be.
• How is this ever going to come together?
• God is not surprised. By anything. Ever. Period.

I'm praying that I can process clearly and think wisely.

What about you? What's on your mind today?

Emotions

Try to stick with me -- I might be a little jittery on this one.

I tend to be an emotional guy. I mean I know everyone has emotions, male and females alike, but I am the guy who actually will cry at the end of a sappy movie. I'm the guy who gets teary eyed over every story of self-sacrifice and forgiveness in the news. And its not just tears -- I'm the guy who gets angry when I hear about domestic violence and verbal abuse. I'm the guy who gets sick to his stomach when he hears certain statistics about the world abroad. I think you get the point.

When I wrestle with the idea of emotions in humans I come up with two conclusions:

1. God has given each one of us a set of emotions, and its different for everyone.

2. God desires that we would recognize our emotions and take action!

I sat in one of the girl's dorms tonight with a bunch of friends and watched Father of the Bride. I had never seen it before and during certain more emotional scenes my eyes....."got watery." Mostly they were times when Steve Martin's character(the dad) would describe how he was feeling and what he was thinking at certain tense moments. Like when his daughter first listened to her fiancee about grabbing a jacket after ignoring her father a few seconds earlier; the father thought to himself about how his role would be so dramatically different as she began to trust this young man instead of her father. Or towards the end when they are finally having the ceremony and as the vows are spoken the father's thoughts are heard again; this time reflecting on his daughter leaving, no longer sitting in her pajamas at the kitchen table, no longer to lay her head on his chest, etc. And it was during these times in the movie that my emotions were stirred(and yes, I understand that that's the point). It was during these times that I realized I can't allow myself to be "moved" by these sentiments if I am not then going to take action. And so the wheels began to turn as I prayed and processed through the respect and understanding that a father deserves during that whole process. What is my responsibility now that I have seen and empathized with the difficulties of giving away a daughter to marriage. How must I act as a result of the emotions that were stirred within me?

I know this is getting long but hang in there. Because day after day I read news stories of disaster here and death here. Or I hear about families or missionaries in need. And these stories truly awaken emotions within me to identify with their situation, to try to understand and grapple with the pain or hardship that someone is facing. But if that is all I do -- see it, understand it...and then what? move on with my day? Click off of Yahoo News and head back to Facebook? No. When I am in some way "moved" or affected by someone else's hurt I believe that I now have a responsibility. And I believe that responsibility can take many forms, but I must do something! Maybe I need to write a note of encouragement, maybe I need to pray, maybe I need to give of my time, maybe I need to give of my money or other resources. But I believe I must do something once I have allowed myself to enter in to their hurt and identify their pain or understand their difficulty and internalize it, feeling emotions, I must do something!

What's going on your world? Who is hurting near you? Who's in need near you? Have any of these stories swelled up emotions within you only to be forced out and dismissed? Far too often I ignore His leading and do nothing. Whether its based on a movie and the action is a change in my perspective and trying to become more like Him in a certain area, or whether its based on someone else's needs and I need to do something tangible for them. It's time for me to stop talking (and most of you are thinking, "and its time for you to stop typing as well") and step up and do something!

One of Those Days

Do you ever have one of those days? A day you wish you could start over. A day you wish you could have just never gotten out of bed and instead slept it away. Do you ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right? Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like you're trying so hard and coming up so short?

I'm having one of those days.....

As is typical with me, one of those days hits when I'm not feeling too well. But in an effort to try hard and get over myself - I get out of bed with a prayer for a right attitude on my tongue. And then it begins: At every turn I am ready with a complaint on my tongue. With every cough is a complaint in my mind of, "I just want to feel better" (its a whiny, annoying voice, but its in my head so no one else has to hear it). I'm too warm in this class, or too cold in this class. Lunch isn't what I'd hoped for. All of these useless complaints that add up to one big bad attitude. And now you are all thinking, "Wow, Sean, just get over yourself!" and I am responding with a big amen! I tell myself to let go of all my issues and know that He's not surprised by any of this. I smile and decide to try to focus on blessing others. And every word off my tongue is heard in a tone that I didn't mean. Every look I give is seen as negative. It's in this moment, on one of these days that I am so thankful for His grace.

I'm so thankful that no matter how hard I try or how easily I give up; no matter how many times I complain or how often I am misunderstand - He is knowingly there. On days when I can do no right, He looks at me and reminds me that He has taken care of it all. He reminds me that when no one else knows how I feel or what I'm thinking - He does. And its on His shoulders of Grace and Love that I stand.

So, when I'm having one of those days I'm reminded that He is still God - period.

Reading List

The books I own and haven't read are beginning to pile up. And realistically none of them will get opened during the semester. So really this list is looking towards the summer but here are some books on my "reading list" - I wonder where I should start. A few I've read already and just want to read again.

Forgotten God - Francis Chan

What He Must Be - Baucham

A Long Way Gone - Ishmael Beah

Crazy Love - Francis Chan

We Are All the Same - Jim Wooten

A Simple Path - Mother Teresa

Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis

Heaven is a Place on Earth - Michael Wittmer

Blue Like Jazz - Donald Miller

Yeah....Maybe I should get started before the summer -- before the list grows...