Obama's Presidential Inauguration

President Obama closed his Inaugural Address with these words:

"So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back, nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

I love those last few lines...read it again.

"With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back, nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

This can only happen if we, as individuals, take these ideas to heart and refuse to give in to apathy, doubt, and regret. It reminds me of Galatians 6...

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

Read the full Transcript here.

Mozambique and Back Again

I'd like to share some of the thoughts I posted while I was still in Mozambique this past summer. These thoughts were rolling around in my head as I began to think about coming back home.

"Tonight though i am beginning to wrestle through my response to all that i have seen and experienced. I am in awe of the darkness that surrounds this village and the despair deep within so many hearts. And yet, that same darkness and despair has found a home within so many of the hearts in the United States - inside those who are literally close enough for me to touch. I am wrestling with what it looks like to actually take hold of His power and shine His light in the darkness; no matter what country i'm in. no matter how i'm feeling that day. no matter what it costs. no matter their circumstances. no matter their intentions.

I'm wrestling through what it will look like to love and to serve whatever, whomever, whenever, and wherever."

Now that I've been home for a little over 4 months its about time I look into what all of these thoughts have actually produced in my life...

And here's what I would like to be able to say... I have spent the last 4 months serving each person who crosses my path and loving people in way that is completely foreign to them. I have spent the last 4 months not thinking about myself or about my wants and desires, but rather how I can be a blessing to those around me. I would love to say that I have stayed connected with Him no matter the circumstances. Unfortunately, far too often these things have not been true of me over the last 4 months. And I sit here humbled once again to know that words are just words and our actions are what truly speak. Thankfully, I continue to grow in grace and know that in the midst of each and every day He is there walking with me. I am thankful to have grabbed a hold of the truth that my life doesn't revolve around my circumstances and that His grace is evermore powerful than my stupidity.

I am once again looking to head to Mozambique for this coming summer and already my mind begins to fill with thoughts of learning as much Portuguese as possible before the summer and starting early on preparing some lessons and on and on. And yet for as great as those words look as I read over them again, the reality is that next semester will bring new classes, new homework, new challenges academic and otherwise. My bottom line thought is balance... I have to set goals and push myself, but not to the brink of going crazy. I have to commit to certain things and plan ahead, but not forget to live in the moment. I'm praying for wisdom and an understanding of what the balance looks like for this year, for next semester, for the last week and a half of this semester! I'm praying I would be careful to use my words not just for the sake of using words, but to use them as simply describing actions I'm going to take!

Maybe this ramble won't connect with anyone, but it sure helped me process my thoughts a bit!

Helping...

Check out this news Story. It's short, I promise. Lady dials wrong number and the stranger she called on accident decides to give her the help she needed.

A few things strike me about this. First, I wonder what my response would have been... and I wonder how many others with the ability to help would have deleted the message and moved on.... and finally, it kills me that this article is filed under the "News>Weird" section of nbcsandiego.com -- it is foreign for something like this to happen; it is so foreign, so unlikely in fact that it was placed under the "Weird" news section.

Frustration

I'm frustrated. i'm sick of people's emotional state being determined by their circumstances. i'm sick of people letting those emotions control them. i'm sick of hearing about perception overtaking reality. i'm sick of people making stupid assumptions. i'm sick of immaturity. i'm sick of "christians" living so unlike Christ. i'm sick of people making excuses. i'm sick of people living to please other people. i'm sick of fakes, liars, and hypocrites. i'm sick of hearing about people in need and not hearing about people doing anything about it. i'm sick of hearing all about the "will of the God" and how far the church and its people are from "it." i'm sick of how much of this is true of me.

And I don't want to hear people making excuses. i don't want to hear all the Christianese "answers." I don't want to hear "things will get better" from all those people not doing anything about it.

What I want to hear is that someone is stepping up. What I want to hear is that God is wrecking people's lives. What I want to hear is that love is breaking through the pain.

...what I need to hear is that grace and love are real.

...what I need to hear is that it starts with me.

Humility

There has been a political "outcry" over President Obama bowing to Japan's emperor.

Last time I checked - observing cultural traditions, built bridges and encouraged relationships! The criticism is that President Obama is showing America as weak and subservient. What a thought - maybe instead of strong-arming everything in our path, we should do a little more bowing, maybe we should do a little more to humble ourselves and respect others. But that's just me...

Braid

I've been playing this game called "Braid." It's incredible. the art, the music, the storyline, the gameplay. It's very enjoyable. Anyway, I just like it so I thought I'd share the video.

Braid trailer from David Hellman on Vimeo.

Oh, and you're trying to save a princess - so its worth it!

Humility

I've been reading Humility: True Greatness by CJ Mahaney for a class that I'm in this semester. We are reading it one chapter per week and have a one page response paper due each Monday. And let me just come right out and say it-This book has been kicking my butt! I am constantly being challenged to get over myself and please Him, giving Him the honor - in every area of my life. First, here is the definition of humility as stated in CJ's book:

"Humility is honestly assessing ourselves in light of God’s holiness and our sinfulness."

As he outlines his ideas on staying humble they all flow from this idea which I think is right on. It is in understanding our brokenness and recognizing His perfection that we are able to keep a right perspective...Here are some excerpts from the response papers I've been writing to give you a glimpse of what my mind has been processing through.

"The truth is so simple: without Him we are nothing. So why would I ever live as though I am significant apart from Him? And yet it frustrates me to even write this because I know how often I don’t live as though that truth is real in my world. I forget His grace, I forget His sacrifice and somehow manage to slink through my day convinced that I am significant and useful of my own accord."

"The antithesis of pride is true servant hood. Serving others for the glory of God as the chapter says. That is what true greatness looks like."

“If I’m ungrateful, I’m arrogant.” I’ve never thought through this phrase before. An ungrateful heart reveals an arrogant attitude. I can’t forget this!"

"We are all on our own paths, our own journeys towards a greater understanding of our Lord and who He is in our lives, as well as how we may better serve Him. Along the way I pray that He will chisel away my pride, continually humbling me to the point of recognition that it is by His grace I am saved and by His strength I live each day. By His breath my life is literally held together."

Pinnacle Rock

This past Saturday I went hiking with a group of my friends. With the threat of rain and a light breeze pressing on us, we loaded into a seven-seat vehicle and headed for the trail. One of us in the group had been there before. After turning around a few times and multiple back-seat drivers we parked the car and took a group picture before heading up the trail. The first few minutes were rough; slow pace, heightened heart rates, and more than a few complaints. Running through my mind were questions like, “will we make it to the top?” and “how long could this trail be?” and finally, “is this even going to be worth it?” Through the barely designated path, up the steep incline and over the rock quarry. Up through the fourteen inch crevice and…

R.C. Sproul writes in The Holiness of God, “Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God.”

…there it was, the majesty of God as clear as I have seen it in quite some time. The crisp, brisk air cut across our faces as we stood on the large slabs of rock protruding from the earth. We overlooked the countryside of rolling hills and farmlands. Cars passed on roads far below and the Pemberley size home jumped out at us from the middle of its green estate. We turned our eyes slightly downward to watch a plane cut through the overcast sky. In between the camera phones clicking pictures were sounds of wow and awe. With each breath, we drew in the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction for completing the climb and experiencing the beauty that was before us. His beauty, His grace, His power, His love, and on and on clearly displayed. And there I stood, as small as I have ever felt.

There's just something powerful and profound about feeling insignificant...

A Few Thoughts

Here are a few thoughts that i've heard this first week since classes started.

-"is your experience in the world real?"
-"people tend avoid questions that bring tension."
-"i long for a family, a wife and kids i can love and share life with - or if God would desire me to be single forever, i long for a change of heart and contentment."
-"there is meaning in the physical world, now."
-"God created us to be human. Becoming a Christian doesn't destroy our humanity, it fully restores it."
-"its easy for us to feel like we have it all together when everyone around us thinks that we do."
-"After i'm dead and gone, i want to be remembered as someone who resembled Christ, not as myself"
-"for a lot of people, what looks like pride is just overwhelming fear."
-"I don't know what to do right now! I wish someone could just tell me what to think sometimes."
-"I challenge you, no, i dare you to learn as much from people and the life going on around you as you do in the classroom. its really not that difficult."
-"the world, the flesh, and the devil are not held back by higher walls and stronger structures."
-"God is so awesome. He totally rocked my world this summer."

That's enough for now. My prayer for whoever reads this is that you would keep your hears open as life goes on around you - actually hear what people say to you and around you. let it sink in.

Cold

Tonight its cold. Christa has just put on a zip up jacket and Chel is wrapped in a blanket. I'm thinking about all of the people who will be behind thin mud walls sleeping on cold mud floors tonight. And i'm thinking about all those who wish they had a mud home, with a cold mud floor. And i'm thinking about how Ercylio continually reminds me that God made the weather this way, whether its hot or cold - He is not surprised. And to be honest, I don't like it. But i guess that's why He's God and well..... what i like doesn't really matter.

Pray for those struggling to keep warm tonight.

Processing

Tonight began the reality of how difficult a week this is going to be. One week from right now I'll be on a plane headed back to the U.S.
The list grows and grows the more I think about all that I'm looking forward to as I return:
*driving my car
*seeing family and friends
*drinking from the tap
*eating a burger
*sleeping without a mosquito net
*returning to school
*ultimate frisbee
*alone time
*a changed perspective.... etc.

And the list grows and grows the more I think about all that I'm going to miss:
*simplicity
*fanta laranja in a bottle
*translators/friends
*the Bush family
*no water and therefore an excuse not to shower
*the smells(unrelated to the not showering)
*picturesque sunsets
*hanging out at the Villa
*struggling with Portuguese.... etc.

And with all of this floating around in my mind, i continually come back to thoughts of those in deep poverty, and disgusting hunger. i continue to wrestle through what my responsibility is to those with such heart-wrenching needs around the world. And as God walks with me through the process I am bouncing like a ping-pong ball, literally all over the place. One moment I am identifying with the New Friars, freeing themselves from most all possessions and living in slum communities around the world. And the next moment I am thinking about the money that could be made as a Wedding Photographer and used to buy milk for the Nutrition Program here. Like i said, i am literally all over the place.

And tonight I'm taking a deep breath, thanking God for this journey, and going to sleep. I'm just glad that He won't be surprised-no matter where He takes me. Thanks for walking with me and praying for me as God continues to push and stretch me to be less like myself and more like Him.

randomness

I was reading Cory and Shanna's blog earlier and it inspired me. So here are some random thoughts:

-i simply cannot believe that i will be getting on a plane to leave here in less than two weeks. it doesn't seem like reality.
-i am dreading saying goodbye to a couple of the guys as well as leaving my "home" here with the bush family.
-tonight was the second night of a conference for young people. the worship was amazing and the message was a real challenge to me, and you could just tell that it really connected with the group as a whole.
-tomorrow we are scrubbing the mold off of the house and i am so thankful for the extra time to spend with ercylio and alberto.
-wednesday and thursday morning i spent working with Phil on Green Door - the piece of the project that builds homes for families within the village - it was a tremendous blessing to observe and actually be a part of the process. it is a ministry filled with much hard work and a well-deserved tangible blessing when the work is completed. i am hoping to spend more time this next week doing more of the same.
-time spent just doing life with the bush family as well as opportunities to watch the kids have been a blessing beyond what i could describe in words.

Tonight though i am beginning to wrestle through my response to all that i have seen and experienced. I am in awe of the darkness that surrounds this village and the despair deep within so many hearts. And yet, that same darkness and despair has found a home within so many of the hearts in the United States - inside those who are literally close enough for me to touch. I am wrestling with what it looks like to actually take hold of His power and shine His light in the darkness; no matter what country i'm in. no matter how i'm feeling that day. no matter what it costs. no matter their circumstances. no matter their intentions.

I'm wrestling through what it will look like to love and to serve whatever, whomever, whenever, and wherever.

Four "Evers"

Tonight I'm thinking about the section I just read in my "Experience" book. Its called the "Four 'Evers'". Here is the first paragraph:
"During this mission trip you have been challenged to serve: whatever God wanted, whomever He prepared for you to reach, whenever He asked, and wherever He sent you. These four "evers" are played out in our lives every day: we just don't always look for them."
It then goes on to talk about Joseph and how these things played out in his life. Joseph strove to serve God no matter his circumstances, even in situations he never planned on. Tonight, I'm thinking through what it looks like to be in unexpected situations, serving God in unexpected ways; knowing that He is with me. He is urging me to act in whatever way will most honor Him. This piece on the "evers" ends with this line: "And remember that others are seeing God through your actions."
I'm praying that I would understand the reality of that statement. That I would understand that most people won't ever hear my words, but they will see my actions from both near and afar. I'm praying that I would understand how important it is for me to live a life of service and love so that others would see God for who He truly is.

How accurate a picture of God's love is your life painting?

Clean Up

This morning Chelye and I started a project with a couple of Nationals. Out back of our house here in Lusalite there is a patio area that last week was black and green with mold, overgrown with weeds, covered in sticks and dirt, and looked more like a large pile of trash than anything else. Over the past week others had started the clean-up process, clearing out the weeds, sticks and random debris. This morning the four of us used steel brushes and began scrubbing away at the layers of black mold. As we knelt in an inch of water scrubbing off the tiles I couldn't help but think about how difficult it was to get all of the mold off. As I type this now, the patio is covered with colorful tiles and clean concrete. The barrier of concrete is partially covered with clean white paint and the vision for a fire pit isn't far away.

Everyone was pretty quiet as we painted this afternoon and I thought back on the morning. It was another reminder of Christ's work in my own life and how stubborn I can be to the change He wants to bring. And it was another reminder of His beauty that would shine through, if only I would get out of His way.

Mad

Sometimes I just get mad. With "good" reason or not, sometimes I just do. Like when my computer battery doesn't last as long as I had planned on. Or when my mosquito net is laying on my head. Or being in a room surrounded by people speaking Portuguese and not having a clue what they're saying. I get mad when I fail to meet a goal. Or when I watch LOST hoping for answers and only end up with more questions. Or reading that Mark's blog will be "changing." Or like when I hear stories of people losing their homes. Or when people make fun of those in serious need. I get mad when I think about the number of deaths everyday that are so very preventable. Or when people talk out of complete ignorance. Or when I watch people so caught up in themselves, they miss an opportunity to help someone else. Or when I realize the danger that rain is to so many with homes made of mud. And I get mad when I realize I'm only mad because of my own pride. Or when I look back and know my motives were completely selfish. Or when I look ahead, knowing my motives are selfish, and I do it anyways. Or when I think of all the time I've spent on nothingness, or the opportunities I've missed, or the money I've wasted.



And then I take a deep breath and realize that I've been more focused on myself, and the mistakes of others, than I have been on Christ's overwhelming love and my responsibility to simply love others.

My Way is Best

I think I am right a lot. I believe that my way of doing things is best, otherwise why would I do it like that? I like to share what I think is right with others. Why would I want them to do something in a way that isn't best? The type of activity doesn't matter; my knowledge of the subject barely matters...It doesn't take much for me to think that I have found the absolute best way to go about things.
I am being reminded day after day that there are always different opinions, different options, different "right ways," different "best" options. And these differences don't always, in fact they rarely, need improvement... especially from me.

Proverbs 12:15
Fools think their own way is right,
but the wise listen to others.

I am working on being a little less foolish and a little more wise.

Friends

This is my first post since arriving in Dondo almost a week ago. It's about 10:30pm and I am ready for bed. I would reach the Word Limit on Blog Spot if I were to relay all the stories that I would already love to share. Today though was the first day us interns sat back and relaxed. I did a few computer related things around the house in Lusalite and that was about it. We spent the day talking and laughing. Eating some candy and popcorn. Simply enjoying each others company.
And as we sat in the living room tonight singing some songs and laughing some more, I began to think about the truly life changing friends that have been in and are in my life. I was thinking about old friendships and how some have faded away while others have grown. I was thinking about the friendships that will last until the Lord calls us home. I was thinking about the friendships that fell flat right from the get go. I was thinking about when my family also became my friends and vice-a-versa. And as I look ahead to the rest of this summer, looking forward to building upon friendships here and back home, I simply want to make the most of what God has put in front of me. This summer...this week...this day.

Bush has opened the last few mornings of our prayer time together with a passage from Numbers and it is what I am praying for my new friends, my old friends, my close friends, and my "not-so-much anymore" friends.
'May the Lord bless you
and protect you.
May the Lord smile on you
and be gracious to you.
May the Lord show you his favor
and give you his peace.'

the ever-faithful One

This has been an intense week on many levels. My mind and heart have been all over the place for the things in my own life and the people around me, here's a peek..

It's been a week of:
-excitement and sorrow
-stress and relief
-addiction and freedom
-judgment and love
-tears and smiles
-ambition and laziness
-laughter and hurting words
-hellos and goodbyes
-worry and peace

That is my feeble attempt to describe the roller coaster of emotions I have been through just this past week. As I look at my packed bags, ready to head out for Mozambique tomorrow I am praying that God will take every one of the pieces in this puzzle and mold me with it. I am praying that I will stand strong on the shoulders of Him who has sent me on this journey. I am praying I would be faithful each and every day, thankful for the path He has set me on. And I am so thankful for all of you who have stepped out and joined me on this adventure. No matter what lies ahead for any of us, let's commit to serving a purpose higher than ourselves.

Moments

A friend played this song for me not too long ago, and I've been hooked.

Crazy Love

A professor at BBC has been posting a good deal on the book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Doctor Higley has a great post summarizing what an obsessed, Crazy Love for God looks like based on the book.

Here's a look...
"“People who are obsessed with God are known as givers, not takers. Obsessed people genuinely think that others matter as much as they do, and they are particularly aware of those who are poor around the world” (p. 140-141)."

Check out the rest of the post HERE!

So Close, SO Excited!

Tomorrow marks the one week countdown to my two month internship to Mozambique. Of course the journey started months ago and has continued to intensify as it grows closer and closer! And at this point I am thankful for many things, including:
-Full Support for the airline tickets and two months in-country costs.
-A new Passport, good for ten years.
-Tons of clothing and extras to pack that have been donated to the Mozambicans.
-Loving support of my friends and family.
-Lots and lots of prayer support.
-A great group of interns who I've been able to learn and grow with.
-The Lord's ever faithful love and grace allowing all this to be possible!

In this last week I'm focusing on staying diligent and being spiritually prepared for the summer as well buying the last few items on my list and packing! Please be praying as I attempt to pack a good deal of clothing, toiletries, and lots and lots of extras!

Thanks so much for your part in this journey so far! Look for more updates soon as I get ready to fly out next Tuesday!

James 3

James 3: 9-12
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Take a few minutes and check out this video.

Friends

As interns we've been working on a piece of our ministry this summer called "Friends of Jesus." We are preparing lessons relating to God's love and His purpose for us as His children. As we continue to talk through these topics and what it looks like to follow Him and be friends of Jesus to one another; I can't help thinking about the friends that I have been so very blessed by these last few months. Far too often I forget that God knows exactly what He's doing and who He's bringing into my life. God made it very clear to me the other day and made sure I saw just how blessed I am by the friends He has surrounded me with. I am praying that I would work hard to stay thankful for these friends and not neglect to show them that thankfulness!

Who has God been placing in your life lately? Are you thankful for their impact on your life? When was the last time you simply said, "thanks?" Why wait any longer?

Reading

So I've realized over the last few weeks that I am much more inclined to read blogs than I am to keep up with my own. It's been great to read the blogs I am following, as friends are learning about Him and others are exploring great books like "Crazy Love" and family pictures are posted and frustrations are described. I especially love the major "revelations" that so often come from such trivial things. I enjoy reading blogs.

As for my own blog, and my own life, it has been a month of being behind. As the semester winds down here at school and preparation for Mozambique begins to speed up, I have found myself behind in more areas than I am ahead in. Most of this comes from my own lack of priorities. Whatever circumstances may dictate, I wouldn't be feeling this month long sense of being behind if I'd been on target all along. I am working through where my priorities need to be over these next few weeks and looking forward to the best steps to take toward discipline and better time management. Needless to say, it's a process. I think what I've realized more than anything lately is the need for accountability. I need to be pushed and challenged - as much as I don't like it. And so I appreciate the people in my life who are willing to push me, even if it means dealing with a poor attitude in response. Thanks to you.

As for blogging...I plan on continuing to read many more blog posts than I write, but I will keep the updates coming... Especially to share how God is working with the internship this summer.

Crisp Air

So I managed to make it to my 7:00am meeting this morning on the Friday before Spring Break starts. It was still pretty dark out as I walked down to the student center. As I passed by the Quad the wind picked up and the crisp cool air came across face, rushing with it the smell of a spring morning. I was instantly back in Johannesburg at the Bed and Breakfast where we stayed in 2008. I was walking in the courtyard back to my room, passing by the pool feeling that same cool air and same smell of morning. It was a great start to the day.

Last night we had our first conference call as interns on Skype. Caitlyn and Ally had a few issues with their mic, or lack their of - but we were soon all talking back and forth. Bush let us know that we would be utilizing Skype for a good portion of our communication as we prepare and I couldn't have been more excited. If you don't know about Skype, its free computer to computer calling with options for chat, voice and video chat. Also, you can make cheap international calls from computer to any phone number. Anyways, getting together like that as a group just makes everything more real! We gave some updates on where we were at in life and preparation, spent some time in prayer and had quite a few laughs! Many of which were aimed at me... I guess its good to know what I'm heading into for the summer! haha.

I'm just excited for what God is doing and wants to do. As we begin to look at support levels and finances for airline tickets we are thankful for the faithfulness of our Lord. And we are hoping support really kicks in as the deadline is less than a week away - March 20th.

Would you join with me on this summer internship?
If so, Don't Hesitate!

A Little Behind

I have been "a little" behind for what feels like months. I've finally got my Support letter for my Mozambique Internship posted so you can download it to the right. If you want more information or have any questions, please email me. Its the google address for this blog - sean.kane@my.bbc.edu - I'd love to hear from you!

I finished reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller a couple weeks ago and was most challenged to respect and love those around me. Not for any other reason than the fact that they exist and are human...just as frail and fallible as myself. Its a process. I'm working through Foreign to Familiar by Sarah Lanier with the other interns that are headed to Mozambique this summer. We are looking at the differences between Hot-Climate Cultures and Cold-Climate Cultures and discussing our thoughts online. Its a quick read, and has brought a lot of insight and challenge already. I also recently started A Simple Path by Mother Teresa. ..and then there are the books for classes, but let's not think about them right now.

I'm studying Ephesians 4 with my group for The Church's Ministry class. It has been a blessing to read through the book (almost) daily for the last week and a half. I keep coming back to verses 31 and 32.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

This list of negative attitudes and actions is so all-inclusive.. My thoughts form like this as I read through the list - the bitterness that has had time to fester, the rage and anger that come in an instant, the harsh words that fly out of our mouths before we think, the slander that spews out in a conversation filled with gossip...and just in case you can think of something outside the list... get rid of "all types of evil behavior." So we're to get rid of these things and instead what? Be kind to each other, tenderhearted/compassionate, forgiving one another.. and what's the model for this? Christ's forgiveness of you and me.

I guess as I think through loving people "just because," it would make sense to get stuck on this set of verses. This is how I can love all those around me whether I think they deserve it or not. Whether they have hurt me or not. Whether they smell or not. Whether they believe what I believe or not. Whether they are homosexual or not. Whether they are behaving wrongly towards me or not... None of that matters. What matters is Christ. His love, kindness, compassion and forgiveness. Does that make sense?

What matters is Christ.
What matters is His love.
What matters is His kindness.
What matters is His compassion.
What matters is His forgiveness.
That forgiveness that frees us to truly love others.

So that's where I've been at lately - that's whats floating around in my head. What about yours? My email address is linked above and I'll put it again here. sean.kane@my.bbc.edu
I would love to hear whats going on in your life; what you are reading. hearing. seeing. thinking. questioning.

Conversation

I love good conversation. I love when people with good thoughts sit down with other people who have good thoughts and everyone shares. Tonight was one of those nights. Thankfully the people around me had the good thoughts and I could do a lot of listening... I think I did a lot of talking as well, but that's not the point :) I think its awesome when people discuss life. I think its awesome when guys and girls can have conversations together about guys and girls... Tonight was one of those nights. I think its powerful when real and thought provoking conversation happens just because. Its not forced or manipulated. So...I guess what I love is good people getting together, with good thoughts, having good conversation, about good things. Tonight was one of those nights.

What's scary is that in all of the good thoughts from good people about good things that nothing is done with all that is shared. Its scary that so often thought provoking ideas come up and are discussed and things are revealed about people and then it just sits there. I hope all the good of my night isn't lost because I'm unwilling to do anything with it. And that just means I have to choose to do something with it...hopefully something good (just to stay true to the theme).

When was the last time you had a good night of good conversation? Did you do anything with it or just let it pass you by?

Day 17

Day 17. Witness

Proverbs 12:17
A truthful witness gives honest testimony,
but a false witness tells lies.

I love what Prodigal Jon has to say about this verse. Check it out! Here or the link to the right!

Surely We Can Change....Something

Here are lyrics to a song by David Crowder...

and the problem is this
we were bought with a kiss
but the cheek still turned
even when it wasn’t hit

and I don’t know
what to do with a love like that
and I don’t know
how to be a love like that

when all the love in the world
is right here among us
and hatred too
and so we must choose
what our hands will do

where there is pain
let there be grace
where there is suffering
bring serenity
for those afraid
help them be brave
where there is misery
bring expectancy
and surely we can change
surely we can change....
something

and the problem it seems
is with you and me
not the Love who came
to repair everything

and I don’t know
what to do with a love like that
and I don’t know
how to be a love like that

when all the love in the world
is right here among us
and hatred too
and so we must choose
what our hands will do

where there is pain
let us bring grace
where there is suffering
bring serenity
for those afraid
let us be brave
where there is misery
let us bring them relief
and surely we can change
surely we can change
oh surely we can change....
something

Are you willing to bring grace?
Are you willing to bring serenity?
Are you willing to be brave?
Are you willing to bring relief?
Will you choose love or hate?
What will you choose to do with your hands?

Listening

I also love to listen.
I love to hear people's thoughts and stories.
I love to know what's going on in their lives.
I love to listen to opinions and ideas. I wonder how often I keep my mouth shut when I should have spoken up... I wonder if while I was too quiet, my words missed the chance to bring healing, missed the opportunity to bring insight to someone else, missed the chance to push someone towards making that tough decision, missed the joy of sharing His love through my words, missed out on telling someone the tough truth....
I wonder how many times I kept my mouth shut when I should have spoken up....just today.

Talking

I realized tonight just how much I like to talk.
Usually I say more than I need to and hear far less than I should.
When I notice those times that I say maybe more than I should, I wonder what I've missed by not listening...I wonder about the knowledge I could have gained, the details that could have enriched, the life stories that could have brought insight, the quiet plea that could have been calling out for help.....

I wonder how much I've missed because I've been too busy talking...just today.

Worship

We had a great time of worship and challenge tonight. I came away realizing that laying everything else aside I must worship Jesus. And if I want to serve Him, I must first be worshiping Him. Worshiping Him with everything that's within me, and every aspect of my life. We ended the session tonight with a video of a painter slowly depicting Christ on the cross as we sang Here i am to Worship - it was powerful. It was powerful to realize His sacrifice of love. It was powerful to realize my inability to fully comprehend what it cost. It was powerful to realize that my response must be worship.

Roommate

So Grant was a little upset with me that he was only mentioned once in my last post. So I wanted to post something else, but didn't want to just post something random about my roommate. Then I was thinking about cleaning tonight. Earlier today Grant and I were talking about White Glove and how much of a mess our room was. We were talking through what we wanted to do with all our.... precious items. When I said that we should make it look like "no one lives here" it wasn't very well received. He was not a fan of the idea of clearing off our dressers and clearing off our desks and on and on. I was admittedly a little frustrated. In my thinking, if we have to do this whole white glove thing, we might as well do the best we can at it.

Anyways, then came time to clean. Before I knew it his clothes had disappeared and his desk was spotless. His dresser was clear and his bookshelf was organized and dusted. I couldn't believe it. We cleaned the stairs, vacuumed our room, got rid of the trash and finished with the hanging of the blankets that I described earlier. As we sit at our immaculate desks with nothing but laptops before us I couldn't help but think about how impressive it was that Grant had changed his attitude in a matter of an hour and instead of grumbling through doing the least bit of work possible, he jumped right in and our entire suite ended up impressed by our room.

It's been a real blessing, and sometimes challenge, getting to know Grant. I'm so thankful for how God chooses to place people in my life. I'm so thankful for the times He makes it clear to me and somehow I'm watching closely enough not to miss it. I can't help but wonder how many people have passed in and out of my life that could have been "more." Whether it was based on my own ignorance or selfishness or my lacking His perspective. Or perhaps it was based on the other person's choice. Whatever the reason for the past, I have to look ahead. I pray I would be open and aware of the people around me; that I would be searching for those He wants me to interact with, for however long. I pray I wouldn't take for granted the people He has so blessed my life with. And I pray I wouldn't take for granted those people He has challenged me to love despite my sinful perspective.

Blogging and Cleaning

I heard some criticisms of blogging today describing people who do nothing but sit at home and eat while they rant and rave their poorly thought out ideas. I'm very glad I don't know any "bloggers" like that. I am continually encouraged and/or challenged by the blogs that I keep up with, or at least try to keep up with. I'm so thankful for people who are willing to share their lives and hearts even if just in little blurbs online.

We cleaned tonight for what BBC has termed, "white glove." The goal is for the judges to vote our dorm the cleanest amongst the other guys dorms, and the same for the ladies. And believe me, that's not an easy process here in good old Shaffer... After misplacing some ceiling tiles, and a few trips out to my car with Grant - our room looks great. No clutter. No dust. Nothing that would make the judges take a second look and question the cleanliness of our room. The problem with that is that above the ceiling tiles are TV trays, cameras, blankets, and clothes. And behind the blankets hanging from my bed and our closet is a jumbled concoction of dirty clothes, computer parts, boxes, shoes, dumbbells, suitcases, and rubber-maids. And in our dresser drawers are dirty glasses, dirty clothes, pens, tissues, a hammer, movies, and kool-aid mixes.

I can't help but think about Jesus' words in Matthew 23:
“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too. “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.

I'm praying for a soft heart, and a spirit that is willing to allow God to get on the inside and do His dirty work on my heart. I'm praying for the Lord's hand to stir within the mess of my inward parts and cleanse me from the inside out.

What do people see as they look at your actions? Are you neat and clean?
What does God see as He looks at your heart? Are you full of hypocrisy?

Francis Chan

Here is a video of Francis Chan that was posted by one of my professors earlier today. These are a couple of statements he makes:

“If Jesus had a church in Simi Valley,
... I bet you mine would be bigger.”
“If Paul had a church in Simi Valley,
... I bet you mine would be bigger.”

This is a thought provoking video, asking whether or not we're really willing to say and do what it is that Jesus would desire of us.

By Your Side

Here is a video of the song.

New Life

Rolling around in my mind tonight have been thoughts about my inadequacies. Thoughts of my sinfulness. Thoughts of my unwillingness to lay it all before Him. Thoughts of my failure to love Him with my whole heart. Thoughts of my decisions day after day to choose sin, or self, or even good things, instead of choosing His best. It is humbling to fall under the reality of our own short comings. And then I decided to (finally) listen to a song that my sister Kate had told me about a few days ago. It's called By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North. Here are lyrics to the chorus and part of a verse:

and I'll be by your side
wherever you fall
in the dead of night
whenever you call
and please don't fight
these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
look at these hands at my side
they swallowed the grave on that night
when I drank the world's sin
so I could carry you in
and give you life

I've been focusing on what I'm not, focusing on failing, focusing on my selfishness, focusing on what I do wrong and who I'm not -- Instead I'm going to focus on who He is, the fight He's already won, the heart that He's sanctifying, the wrong He's righted within me, and who I am in Him... I'm going to let the thoughts of His patient unfailing love and grace carry me and give me life and power!

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him.....So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus. --from Romans 6

Provision

Sometimes I struggle to really "trust" God. It's hard for me to rest in knowing that what He's doing is best. I'll say the right words when someone asks, but then in the quietness of a morning or in those last few thoughts before I fall asleep, the "situation" comes back to mind and I doubt. I doubt Him. I doubt that He's enough.
So today I'm going to try just as hard as I can to view everything that happens through the lens of His provision. I'm going to take everything someone says to me, everything I hear said around me, everything I say, everything I do and everything people do around me and try to see God's provision in it. When I hear a complaint or when I complain today I'm going to stop and instead of thinking about what isn't "preferable" I'm going to try to think about it with His perspective; how He's provided in that situation. When I'm cold walking to class I'm going to try to think about how He's provided me with a coat and gloves. When I hear that someone accomplished something I want to think about how it was by His provision that it was possible. Okay I think you get the point... I want to focus on His provision so that I can better understand how much sense it makes to trust Him. I know I'm suppose to trust Him just because, but He's given me soooo many reasons to trust Him that it just makes sense to try and focus on them. I think the more I can grasp how He's providing everyday for everyone around me the more I will desire to trust Him. Because ultimately... He is enough.

So what is it today that you know is true about God but you're struggling to live it out?
What is it today that you need to focus on in order to straighten out your perspective of Him and of your life?

Do you need to focus on His grace to stay humble?
Do you need to focus on His love to better love those around you?
Do you need to focus on His justice to keep from doing wrong?
What is it today?

97 Seconds With God

Day 1. Stupid

(For the next 28 days, I’m going to walk through Proverbs 12 verse by verse, with short, quick thoughts. I hope you’ll read along with me.)

Proverbs 12:1
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.

I like this verse for a few reasons. First of all, it comes right out and says that if you hate correction, you're stupid. No wasted words, no soft peddling the truth or hand holding in the delivery. Yeah, you're stupid. Whenever I try to say, "The Bible is so complicated, I can't read it because it’s so difficult to figure out," I need to remember this verse.


This is a post by "Prodigal Jon." You can read the rest of his post on Proverbs 12:1 as well as follow him through the rest of Proverbs 12 here or click the link for 97secondswithGod under my "Blogs to Watch" to the right.

Stories

Had a great reminder this morning about how important it is to understand people's stories. How important it is to hear their background, their family, their circumstances and understand how those pieces of their lives have shaped their perspective and lifestyle. We can't underestimate the power of perspectives and habits that have been ingrained from birth.

Mozambique

I've done a lot of talking today...probably too much. So it was nice to just sit and watch the Superbowl quietly as others talked around me. As much as I enjoyed the game I spent a lot of time thinking about Mozambique. A lot of what I talked about and listened to this weekend revolved around Mozambique and the people I'd be spending time with. I'm extremely excited to watch God continue to work in me and all around me. I am praying that I will set aside my expectations and just stand in awe of what He chooses to do. I am just excited to spend time with friends and family while in Dondo this summer. It makes me smile to think about how He works.

Steelers and iPods

So... Grant's Steelers won.

As much as I wanted to see Kurt Warner get the win, and as impressed as I was with the Cardinals come back I've realized that there may be some good in the Steelers' win. The basic idea is this: Grant's not depressed. He recently "misplaced" my ipod and I'm hoping in his excitement over the win he will have extra energy to search for it! ..okay so probably not, but I'm trying to stay positive!

I've been thinking a lot lately about the choices people around me make. And I've been thinking about the bad choices that are often so obvious to everyone around that person and yet they just don't seem to get it. They don't grasp how bad the choice is, or how sinful. It's upsetting to watch as this sin is surrounded by blindness and ignorance. And yet how often am I blind to the sin in my own life, and instead focusing on it happening in others all around me. I'm so quick to get angry over a lost ipod and not even realize it. Instead, I think about how it was irresponsible of the other person to have lost it.

...You always hear about how people are too focused on themselves; too wrapped up in their own worlds. And yet when it comes to the sins and poor perspectives in our own lives how quickly does that focus shift? How quick are we to stop talking about ourselves and instead start gossiping and pointing out the faults in others? I'm afraid that I fall into this horrible routine far too often...

Rock Band and Prayer

I really enjoy playing RockBand; preferably RockBand2 but I'm happy with either! I'm not all that good...I play bass cause its easier than guitar. Anyways, as I played tonight I realized my inability to hit a certain combination of orange/red/green/orange...etc. and then it happened: I became genuinely frustrated that this game was "beating me." I was complaining in my mind about not being able to finish the song. And without realizing it I just began to pray, and in His grace, my mind began to wonder as I prayed, "Why am I frustrated with this game?" Not, "why is this game so stinkin' tough on expert?" Not, "well this is stupid." But rather, "Why am I allowing myself to become frustrated over a game?"

In chapel this morning we heard a powerful message on prayer. Two aspects of the message really stuck with me. First, was this idea of being disciplined in reigning in our minds. That we all too often allow our minds to wander, we lose control over our thoughts, and off they go to places that aren't even logical. Our minds will bring us to places of confusion and frustration where neither of those apply. And Secondly, that our prayers ought not be what we resort to when all the "practical" ideas fail, or when the situation is completely "out of our hands." Prayer, our open audience with the God of the Universe, should be our first response, our resource that in conjunction with reigning in of our minds will keep us focused on what matters, praying how He would desire us to pray.

So, as I sat on the couch fumbling through a frustrated prayer in my head, all of these thoughts came flooding back: "Reign in your mind." "Don't just pray because you're frustrated." "Talk to Him because He's your Savior." "Get over yourself and get over this game."

How often do I pray only when it's convenient? Or perhaps what is more often the case, only when I feel like I've run out of "better" ideas? How often do I simply desire to talk with Him? How often do you simply desire to talk with Him?

Internship

I'm headed to Dondo, Mozambique this summer for a two month internship. Right now, I'm working on putting together my support letter and renewing my passport. This being my fourth trip to Dondo I'm certainly excited to reconnect with friends; on the other hand I'm nervous that I am too familiar with the process. I am afraid that I'll focus on the letter and on raising support instead of focusing on my heart. I am afraid that I'll be too quick to answer instead of listening. I am afraid that I'll want to go go go instead of just taking a breath and having a conversation. I am afraid that even though I see these negatives as a possibility, I won't guard myself against them. As I continue to prepare, please pray for me in this. Pray that I would foresee the danger and take precautions, instead of going blindly on...