Mad

Sometimes I just get mad. With "good" reason or not, sometimes I just do. Like when my computer battery doesn't last as long as I had planned on. Or when my mosquito net is laying on my head. Or being in a room surrounded by people speaking Portuguese and not having a clue what they're saying. I get mad when I fail to meet a goal. Or when I watch LOST hoping for answers and only end up with more questions. Or reading that Mark's blog will be "changing." Or like when I hear stories of people losing their homes. Or when people make fun of those in serious need. I get mad when I think about the number of deaths everyday that are so very preventable. Or when people talk out of complete ignorance. Or when I watch people so caught up in themselves, they miss an opportunity to help someone else. Or when I realize the danger that rain is to so many with homes made of mud. And I get mad when I realize I'm only mad because of my own pride. Or when I look back and know my motives were completely selfish. Or when I look ahead, knowing my motives are selfish, and I do it anyways. Or when I think of all the time I've spent on nothingness, or the opportunities I've missed, or the money I've wasted.



And then I take a deep breath and realize that I've been more focused on myself, and the mistakes of others, than I have been on Christ's overwhelming love and my responsibility to simply love others.