Mozambique and Back Again

I'd like to share some of the thoughts I posted while I was still in Mozambique this past summer. These thoughts were rolling around in my head as I began to think about coming back home.

"Tonight though i am beginning to wrestle through my response to all that i have seen and experienced. I am in awe of the darkness that surrounds this village and the despair deep within so many hearts. And yet, that same darkness and despair has found a home within so many of the hearts in the United States - inside those who are literally close enough for me to touch. I am wrestling with what it looks like to actually take hold of His power and shine His light in the darkness; no matter what country i'm in. no matter how i'm feeling that day. no matter what it costs. no matter their circumstances. no matter their intentions.

I'm wrestling through what it will look like to love and to serve whatever, whomever, whenever, and wherever."

Now that I've been home for a little over 4 months its about time I look into what all of these thoughts have actually produced in my life...

And here's what I would like to be able to say... I have spent the last 4 months serving each person who crosses my path and loving people in way that is completely foreign to them. I have spent the last 4 months not thinking about myself or about my wants and desires, but rather how I can be a blessing to those around me. I would love to say that I have stayed connected with Him no matter the circumstances. Unfortunately, far too often these things have not been true of me over the last 4 months. And I sit here humbled once again to know that words are just words and our actions are what truly speak. Thankfully, I continue to grow in grace and know that in the midst of each and every day He is there walking with me. I am thankful to have grabbed a hold of the truth that my life doesn't revolve around my circumstances and that His grace is evermore powerful than my stupidity.

I am once again looking to head to Mozambique for this coming summer and already my mind begins to fill with thoughts of learning as much Portuguese as possible before the summer and starting early on preparing some lessons and on and on. And yet for as great as those words look as I read over them again, the reality is that next semester will bring new classes, new homework, new challenges academic and otherwise. My bottom line thought is balance... I have to set goals and push myself, but not to the brink of going crazy. I have to commit to certain things and plan ahead, but not forget to live in the moment. I'm praying for wisdom and an understanding of what the balance looks like for this year, for next semester, for the last week and a half of this semester! I'm praying I would be careful to use my words not just for the sake of using words, but to use them as simply describing actions I'm going to take!

Maybe this ramble won't connect with anyone, but it sure helped me process my thoughts a bit!