Running thru my Mind

Here are some random thoughts/quotes/questions running through my head lately:

• Humility.
• Integrity.
• Thankfulness.
• I'm not good enough.
• My stuff, isn't my stuff.
• When is the right time?
• Loving others is hard.
• I am my own worst enemy.
• Why am I so blessed while others struggle so much?
• Christ is my true sufficiency.
• I can't control others' attitudes, but I can control my own.
• What can I do in this world full of need?
• Christ is more important than I am.
• I need to be who He created me to be.
• How is this ever going to come together?
• God is not surprised. By anything. Ever. Period.

I'm praying that I can process clearly and think wisely.

What about you? What's on your mind today?

Emotions

Try to stick with me -- I might be a little jittery on this one.

I tend to be an emotional guy. I mean I know everyone has emotions, male and females alike, but I am the guy who actually will cry at the end of a sappy movie. I'm the guy who gets teary eyed over every story of self-sacrifice and forgiveness in the news. And its not just tears -- I'm the guy who gets angry when I hear about domestic violence and verbal abuse. I'm the guy who gets sick to his stomach when he hears certain statistics about the world abroad. I think you get the point.

When I wrestle with the idea of emotions in humans I come up with two conclusions:

1. God has given each one of us a set of emotions, and its different for everyone.

2. God desires that we would recognize our emotions and take action!

I sat in one of the girl's dorms tonight with a bunch of friends and watched Father of the Bride. I had never seen it before and during certain more emotional scenes my eyes....."got watery." Mostly they were times when Steve Martin's character(the dad) would describe how he was feeling and what he was thinking at certain tense moments. Like when his daughter first listened to her fiancee about grabbing a jacket after ignoring her father a few seconds earlier; the father thought to himself about how his role would be so dramatically different as she began to trust this young man instead of her father. Or towards the end when they are finally having the ceremony and as the vows are spoken the father's thoughts are heard again; this time reflecting on his daughter leaving, no longer sitting in her pajamas at the kitchen table, no longer to lay her head on his chest, etc. And it was during these times in the movie that my emotions were stirred(and yes, I understand that that's the point). It was during these times that I realized I can't allow myself to be "moved" by these sentiments if I am not then going to take action. And so the wheels began to turn as I prayed and processed through the respect and understanding that a father deserves during that whole process. What is my responsibility now that I have seen and empathized with the difficulties of giving away a daughter to marriage. How must I act as a result of the emotions that were stirred within me?

I know this is getting long but hang in there. Because day after day I read news stories of disaster here and death here. Or I hear about families or missionaries in need. And these stories truly awaken emotions within me to identify with their situation, to try to understand and grapple with the pain or hardship that someone is facing. But if that is all I do -- see it, understand it...and then what? move on with my day? Click off of Yahoo News and head back to Facebook? No. When I am in some way "moved" or affected by someone else's hurt I believe that I now have a responsibility. And I believe that responsibility can take many forms, but I must do something! Maybe I need to write a note of encouragement, maybe I need to pray, maybe I need to give of my time, maybe I need to give of my money or other resources. But I believe I must do something once I have allowed myself to enter in to their hurt and identify their pain or understand their difficulty and internalize it, feeling emotions, I must do something!

What's going on your world? Who is hurting near you? Who's in need near you? Have any of these stories swelled up emotions within you only to be forced out and dismissed? Far too often I ignore His leading and do nothing. Whether its based on a movie and the action is a change in my perspective and trying to become more like Him in a certain area, or whether its based on someone else's needs and I need to do something tangible for them. It's time for me to stop talking (and most of you are thinking, "and its time for you to stop typing as well") and step up and do something!

One of Those Days

Do you ever have one of those days? A day you wish you could start over. A day you wish you could have just never gotten out of bed and instead slept it away. Do you ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right? Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like you're trying so hard and coming up so short?

I'm having one of those days.....

As is typical with me, one of those days hits when I'm not feeling too well. But in an effort to try hard and get over myself - I get out of bed with a prayer for a right attitude on my tongue. And then it begins: At every turn I am ready with a complaint on my tongue. With every cough is a complaint in my mind of, "I just want to feel better" (its a whiny, annoying voice, but its in my head so no one else has to hear it). I'm too warm in this class, or too cold in this class. Lunch isn't what I'd hoped for. All of these useless complaints that add up to one big bad attitude. And now you are all thinking, "Wow, Sean, just get over yourself!" and I am responding with a big amen! I tell myself to let go of all my issues and know that He's not surprised by any of this. I smile and decide to try to focus on blessing others. And every word off my tongue is heard in a tone that I didn't mean. Every look I give is seen as negative. It's in this moment, on one of these days that I am so thankful for His grace.

I'm so thankful that no matter how hard I try or how easily I give up; no matter how many times I complain or how often I am misunderstand - He is knowingly there. On days when I can do no right, He looks at me and reminds me that He has taken care of it all. He reminds me that when no one else knows how I feel or what I'm thinking - He does. And its on His shoulders of Grace and Love that I stand.

So, when I'm having one of those days I'm reminded that He is still God - period.

Reading List

The books I own and haven't read are beginning to pile up. And realistically none of them will get opened during the semester. So really this list is looking towards the summer but here are some books on my "reading list" - I wonder where I should start. A few I've read already and just want to read again.

Forgotten God - Francis Chan

What He Must Be - Baucham

A Long Way Gone - Ishmael Beah

Crazy Love - Francis Chan

We Are All the Same - Jim Wooten

A Simple Path - Mother Teresa

Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis

Heaven is a Place on Earth - Michael Wittmer

Blue Like Jazz - Donald Miller

Yeah....Maybe I should get started before the summer -- before the list grows...

Obama's Presidential Inauguration

President Obama closed his Inaugural Address with these words:

"So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back, nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

I love those last few lines...read it again.

"With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back, nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

This can only happen if we, as individuals, take these ideas to heart and refuse to give in to apathy, doubt, and regret. It reminds me of Galatians 6...

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

Read the full Transcript here.